A card from Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Grooming & Wardrobe (Player 1)
Looking and feeling good, especially after children, doesn’t come easy. (There’s a reason that beauty is a $445 billion industry.) Even if you’re a DIY kind of woman, it still takes time to slather on moisturizer, pluck your eyebrows, style your hair, and put on lipstick. Kick it up a notch and you may add mani/pedis, eyelash extensions, and waxing to your beauty regimen. Add in shopping for clothes (in various sizes for pre-pregnancy, post-pregnancy, nursing, and every other reason your weight fluctuates) and you’ve got a potentially expensive and time-consuming card in your hands.
Holding this card means owning all three
Conception
You need to be presentable
Planning
INSOURCED
- Purchasing all necessary beauty products and tools, including makeup (lipstick, powder, mascara, eye liner/shadow, foundation, eyebrow liner) tweezers, deodorant, moisturizers/lotions/anti-aging creams, makeup removers, hairspray, gel, mousse, etc., hair accessories, nail polish, nail kit (nail files, cuticle scissors, buffers, etc.), hair dye
Execution
INSOURCED
OUTSOURCED
- Applying/using all necessary beauty products and tools
- Hair removal appointments
- Haircut/blow-dry/color/highlights/straightening/extensions (hair, lashes)
- Nail appointments
- Facials/injection appointments
- Tattoos
- Piercings
Suggested Minimum Standard of Care
Are you in charge of your own clothes and do you have appropriate clothes for all occasions? Do you feel good about yourself based on your expectations? Can you handle this yourself and not ask your partner to do it for you?
A starting point. You and your partner agree the real standard together, and the holder meets it without reminders.
Holding it well
- This card is dealt to each of you. Nobody holds it for their partner.
- The holder owns all of it: noticing, planning and doing. No “just tell me what to do.”
- Agree the Minimum Standard of Care together, then let the holder meet it their way.
- Not working? Bring it to the weekly check-in and re-deal it. Don’t take it back mid-week.
Put this card on your table
Deal it, agree its standard, and see who holds what. Free.