A card from Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Parents & In-Laws
Caregiving suit
Whether your parents and/or in-laws live nearby or thousands of miles away, it’s a relationship that can require a fair amount of TLC and CPE. Someone’s got to call them regularly, help them figure out how to turn on their TV with one of their 100-year-old remotes, and invite them to holiday or birthday celebrations. (Or maybe not.)
Holding this card means owning all three
C
Conception
You have parents/ in-laws
P
Planning
- Plan for parent/in-law engagement
- Calling/arranging for visits and visiting parents and in-laws an adequate amount (consult with “Travel” cardholder)
- Becoming familiar with parents’/in-laws’ health, including medical history, current medical issues, financial or other concerns
E
Execution
- Purchasing and have family members sign or decorate cards for important occasions (birthday, holiday, Mother’s/Father’s Day)
- Handling parents/in-laws needs during their visits, including airport transportation, activity/meal planning, taking vacation days to spend time with them
- Managing parents’/in-laws’ wishes for burial while alive
- Educating on electronics/IT/other current issues
Suggested Minimum Standard of Care
Do you agree on the role parents/in-laws have in your life? If not, can you agree on a reasonable role going forward?
A starting point. You and your partner agree the real standard together, and the holder meets it without reminders.
Holding it well
- The holder owns all of it: noticing, planning and doing. No “just tell me what to do.”
- Agree the Minimum Standard of Care together, then let the holder meet it their way.
- Not working? Bring it to the weekly check-in and re-deal it. Don’t take it back mid-week.
Put this card on your table
Deal it, agree its standard, and see who holds what. Free.