A card from Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Gestures of Love (Kids)
You know that mom who leaves handwritten notes in her kid’s lunch box that read “I love you to the moon and back”? Or the dad who drops by basketball practice for a quick hug? With some thought, time, and effort—some CPE, if you will—that parent could be you, making every day a little more special for everyone.
Note! You’re both equally capable of having the forethought and spending the time to buy a bouquet of flowers before your child’s dance recital, but trust me on this—even gestures of love benefit from one person taking the lead. To ensure that the gesture isn’t missed or forgotten, assign one person to pick up flowers for the recital this week, and then redeal to assign a lead next week.
Holding this card means owning all three
Conception
You want your kids to feel love and seen
Planning
- Creating plan for appropriate gestures
- May include: flowers for recitals, notes on mirrors/lunch boxes, family hugs, surprise pick-up, etc.
Execution
- Following through on planned gestures
Suggested Minimum Standard of Care
Would your kid report random acts of kindness from you if asked? (i.e., flowers at their recital)
A starting point. You and your partner agree the real standard together, and the holder meets it without reminders.
Holding it well
- The holder owns all of it: noticing, planning and doing. No “just tell me what to do.”
- Agree the Minimum Standard of Care together, then let the holder meet it their way.
- Not working? Bring it to the weekly check-in and re-deal it. Don’t take it back mid-week.
Put this card on your table
Deal it, agree its standard, and see who holds what. Free.