A card from Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Hard Question (Kids)
“Why do I have hair growing under my armpits?” “What does it mean when the other kids talk about ‘doing it’?” Enough said. You and your partner may re-deal this card to each other based on the question at hand or which child is asking, but when it’s your turn, be prepared as best you can to research and impart thoughtful, accurate, and age-appropriate wisdom. Spoiler alert: The questions get tougher, and the stakes get higher as your kids grow up.
Holding this card means owning all three
Conception
Your kids have questions
Planning
- Determining the appropriate age to discuss certain topics with your child (puberty, gender, sex/pornography, sexuality, drugs/alcohol, suicide, religion, family choices)
- Connecting with friends who have older children to gather advice on how to introduce difficult topics
- Consulting with doctors, professionals, and/or community resources when necessary
Execution
- Purchasing age-appropriate books to help educate your children
- Being available for and open when answering your children’s questions
Suggested Minimum Standard of Care
Are your children’s hard questions appropriately researched and answered in a way that feels good to both of you?
A starting point. You and your partner agree the real standard together, and the holder meets it without reminders.
Holding it well
- The holder owns all of it: noticing, planning and doing. No “just tell me what to do.”
- Agree the Minimum Standard of Care together, then let the holder meet it their way.
- Not working? Bring it to the weekly check-in and re-deal it. Don’t take it back mid-week.
Put this card on your table
Deal it, agree its standard, and see who holds what. Free.