A card from Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Discipline & Screen Time (Kids)
While it’s no fun to discipline kids, the Magic is in setting critical boundaries and giving them tools that will impact how safe they feel and how they conduct themselves for a lifetime. The goal is not for one parent to be responsible for discipline while the other holds “Fun! & Playing” forever. That’s why this card requires ongoing collaboration between partners, with one cardholder at a time taking the lead. For example, screen time. This came up as the most discussed disciplinary issue within families. It’s a biggie, and if you hold this card, you may conduct research about an appropriate amount of screen time for your kids and consult with your partner about reasonable boundaries, along with the parameters for taking it away; then you’ll each enforce your family’s rules and consequences on an ongoing basis.
Holding this card means owning all three
Conception
Your kids make mistakes
Planning
- Researching appropriate discipline for different life stages
- Devising a strategy to recommend to your spouse
- Setting up parental controls, negotiating what games/sites your kid can visit, downloading one of those apps that turns the Wi-Fi off on your child’s device after a certain number of minutes
- Informing childcare helpers of limits as needed
- Updating plan as needed
Execution
- Informing child and enforcing limits
Suggested Minimum Standard of Care
Are you guiding your children to know right from wrong and the consequences of their actions? What is appropriate for them to watch and for how long?
A starting point. You and your partner agree the real standard together, and the holder meets it without reminders.
Holding it well
- It’s a Daily Grind: relentless and time-bound. Make sure each of you holds a fair share of these, ideally one from each suit.
- The holder owns all of it: noticing, planning and doing. No “just tell me what to do.”
- Agree the Minimum Standard of Care together, then let the holder meet it their way.
- Not working? Bring it to the weekly check-in and re-deal it. Don’t take it back mid-week.
Put this card on your table
Deal it, agree its standard, and see who holds what. Free.