A card from Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Social Plans (Couples)
In theory, it’s as simple as texting your friends to get together, picking a date/time/place, and showing up. But that’s not how it works in real life, and certainly not how it works after having kids. For starters, you want your partner’s buy-in for who you’re getting together with, and you’ll need to get a babysitter, so consult with the “Childcare Helpers” cardholder. Then, syncing calendars (pre-bedtime? after the championship game?) will make you question if it’s really worth the effort. If you actually make it out the door without cancelling, you have earned a bonus cocktail.
Holding this card means owning all three
Conception
You want to be social with your partner
Planning
- RSVPing to party/night out invitations
- Discussing with partner who you both would like to see
- Reaching out to friends/colleagues seeking plans
- Coordinating schedules
- Determining restaurant/event interest
- Designating alcohol-free driver or calling an Uber
Execution
- Working with “Childcare Helpers” cardholder to confirm babysitter
- Making reservations
- Purchasing tickets to events
Suggested Minimum Standard of Care
While there may be one more extroverted partner, is it reasonable to expect to socialize with other couples on occasion? Try to agree to a mutual comfort.
A starting point. You and your partner agree the real standard together, and the holder meets it without reminders.
Holding it well
- The holder owns all of it: noticing, planning and doing. No “just tell me what to do.”
- Agree the Minimum Standard of Care together, then let the holder meet it their way.
- Not working? Bring it to the weekly check-in and re-deal it. Don’t take it back mid-week.
Put this card on your table
Deal it, agree its standard, and see who holds what. Free.